Sunday, July 9, 2017

The Sunday Funnies

Watching kids at the neighborhood pool jump off the diving board:  "Look!  The kids are disappearing!"

Squeezing Mom:  What is this?**
Mom:  Those are ribs.**
Dorothy:  I wish I had ribs.

Using an ice pack after she busted her lip:  I want a new ice pack.  This one has ketchup all over it.

Dad:  Would you like me to read you a book?**
Dorothy:  No, tell me a mouth story.

Big Daddy:  Have you ever ridden a sea horse?**
Dorothy:  No, I don't know how to read.

Sarah, seeing cousins David and John wrestling on the floor:  Boys, didn't your mother tell you to stop wrestling?**
Dorothy, watching with excitement from a bed:  But I told them to go wrestling!  [pumps fist in air.]  Go!  Go wrestling!

Dorothy, pointing to a woman who washed her hands in a public restroom [loudly]:  That lady didn't use any soap!

Sarah, fumbling from the front seat with the buttons she couldn't see on the travel DVD player behind her:  I'm not sure which buttons to push to make it work.**
Dorothy:  Pwess pway.

Dorothy, watching previews on a DVD:  Hey, they are saying all the movies I like!

Sarah, looking at Dorothy shivering in the pool:  Dorothy, your lips are blue.**
Dorothy:  They are blue because I am swimming in blue water.

Sarah, looking for an excuse to accompany a screaming Dorothy back to bed:  I'm going to go to your room because I need to take care of some things.**
Dorothy:  I need you to take care of me.